You are not allowed to have girlfriends!

“You are not allowed to have girlfriends till university”

Until this day, I still hold a grudge towards you for this and an even grudge against myself for following. I understand, the cultural background and the reasons behind why he had imposed that on me, but it doesn’t necessary mean that I understand “it”.

What possessed him to follow that belief? The deep rooted Chinese mentality which put career and money first and everything else second? Knowing that he actively enforced that on me back then present the fact that he sincerely believes it. Yet, somehow, my mind refuses to believe a person can place such blind faith on unfounded principles. It’s stupid, and believing in it is stupid.

FUCK YOU for messing up my innocent relationships, imposing your warped view of the world on me and most of all, for trying to brain wash me into believing that all woman are problems.

Why did you forbid such a beautiful thing? Why cause so much negativity in my first experience in this emotion? Do you know that till this day, I never tell you about any of my girlfriends because of the sour memories of what you said? Because all that you said about any of them are NEGATIVE?

You can never show me the positive, but I can depend on you to show me the negative. That is the only time when I will seek you for advice. When I need a view on the negatives that I overlooked. Remember that.