Mimic II

When I just finished reading a certain novel, my writing style will match that of the author for a while. Mimicking the structures and words that they use, it is a natural ability of mine. Same thing with gaits and voices, although it is harder for me to reproduce the sound, it is easy for me to understand movement and pinpoint which part is important to copy in order to achieve the same effect. I admit that I’ve done nothing but trying to mimic someone else for a greater part of my life. What can I blame? I had no idea where I stand i the world.

That being said, it doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel revulsion the first time someone tried to copy my lifestyle. After the initial rush of superiority, I just get annoyed at the person who constantly observed me, cause I know when I turn my head, he’d become a mini me. Other than that annoyance, there really isn’t anything else, for a fact remains clear. A copy can never surpass the original therefore the original has nothing to fear from the copycat. While the person is trying to be you, you remain ever so elusive, because the you in yourself is constantly shifting with new ideas. A copy can only remain a snapshot of what you were. I know, because I’ve been copying someone else’s movements.

Because it’s a challenge

The goals of my life have never been about money or owning anything in particular. This is because I am the witness to a life driven purely by money.

My parents were born in poverty, where watered down rice ganjee with sweet potatoes is the every day norm. Where a feast means a chicken leg added to the mix of otherwise hunger inducing meal. My dad’s life has been driven by that of money and business. He started out penniless and built a company of his own in pursuit of financial security, neglecting his familly in the process. You really can’t blame him for this though. It was a harsh world back then, some would argue that once your account balance reaches zero, you are as useful as a beggar. No, there’s no social insurance at all.

Trip to Africa, trip to Europe, scuba diving, bungee jumping, sky diving. I don’t want to do any of these a second time. I own a car because it gets me to work on time, otherwise I prefer to bike and run. I want a house because I am sick of having just one bedroom that multitask as art center/machine shop/storage/bedroom/study.

The last goal I can think of is to not having to work and be able to support myself from the interests. However, this one is debatable because I love working and creating something beautiful. Be it a state of the art 3d laser scanner or a simple real time camera.

Hence I am stuck, unable to justify the need to be a millionaire. It is something I know I will become in my lifetime, just as natural as owing a house at one point in my life. I just can’t find the why.