What you don’t expect when making a decision

So there’s this thing that’s been bothering you for a while. It grows at the back of your mind, whispers to you in your sleep, slaps you while you meet with important clients until finally, you realize that this will become one of your regrets later in life if you don’t at least make an attempt.

You practice the confrontation in your mind, playout the different outcomes that can result and different beginnings depending on different situations. You practice saying what you want to say and getting your thoughts out so you don’t stutter and embarrass yourself. You practice the tone of your voice, the manner at which you compose yourself to convey the best interest in reaching a resolution. You tell yourself that you are ready.

The day comes, you leave early and take the long way to get there so you can prepare the state of your mind and increase your confidence. You’ve made your choices to confront it and tomorrow’s breakfast will either taste like mud or the most wonderful meal you’ve ever tasted. Whatever the outcome, you are ready to face it, anything is better. You have things to lose, but they don’t matter at this point.

Maybe it’s the desperation in your eyes, maybe it’s the sense of resolve in your gait. People notices you. A guard starts a random chat with you as you both head towards the exit of the mall. After a polite short exchange, you bid good bye to the guard and continued on mingling in the monotonous crowd. Suddenly, the girl in front of you turns her head and stares directly into your eyes. You stare back, not seeing the person, because your mind is focusing on something else ahead.

Finally, you survives the trip there, but the world whilrs as you realizes the outcome that you fear the most. The subject of your angony is not there…

FUCK