Ballroom competition and regrets

So I just watched the incomplete anime called Ballroom e Youkoso (Welcome to the ballroom)…

 

I am having a really hard time sleeping. My emotions running wild. Ballroom is, after all, an emotional sport for me. Just like the main character, I am the type who dance with emotions, so the impact hits even deeper as we both struggled through the same things.

I’ve never reviewed that part of my life through my meditation journey and while awake at night, I’ve had plenty of time to go through it with my now adult eye. Doubts started to resurface and I desperately tried to reason it out to make peace with my feelings. All the what-ifs on the choices I made.

My biggest regret was not staying with the partner I had in Taiwan. We were getting somewhere and improving exponentially. But I couldn’t handle the homesickness and the long hours of engineering work paired with dancing. I wasn’t rich enough to dedicate my whole life to dancing and I didn’t start with her young enough to want to stay. After all, I was still trying to mend my broken heart and she seemed irrelevant to my life.

I had given up on describing to people what it was like for me. What this other part of me that most don’t get to meet is like. Well, now I have a way to show them through this anime. The camaraderie, the passion, the inner turmoil and the wonderful cruel world of ballroom dancing.