Improvements

Many years ago, I somehow arrived at the conclusion that there are several character flaws that I need to work on and two of major flaws that seems so far awake that it was a joke had me paralyzed at how to proceed. One is making decisions, the other is finishing things I started. It came in a period of introspection after I realized just how much I resembled my father when I thought I was not.

I disliked my father so much back then that I made a point to become nothing like him. Making sure that I make my life neither in his image nor his opposite. I made sure that part of me that resembles him are met with disinterest. Because the opposite of love is indifference, not hatred.

But that leads me back to the problem of making decisions. I have to come up with how to pick a path, whether or not to accept, reject or choose a 3rd road. So I picked one that best suited to how I grew up. Predicting all the possible outcomes, pick one that has the potential future I like the most based on data and previous instances.

Back then, I somehow identified these two problems. But only jokingly because I have no idea how to go about changing it. Well, the decision part I managed to fix easily because whereas I had no model to work with before, I now have one.

The other one, the finishing anything I started. Well, that took a lot longer and made everything else longer. Still working on this because I still have unfinished projects.