The merging of Trinity

I think it when I first started working at Matrox, that I decided to, or rather I hazily realized that I need to merge all my identities. The edges were rough as things I do online clashes with my real life. As merging the two means you are open to have your real life attacked by the anonymous mobs online. Anyone will be able to call work and harass me while I have no method of retaliation against them. Despite the disadvantages, I still went ahead with the merging and revelations for I felt that it is necessary to BE what I say. The simplicity in life and the lessons learned to deal with situations in the digital world and the real world are important to my personal growth.

The nick Causalien came from me simply smashing together the word Causality and Alien after changing from Fenolen (a name generated by randomly smashing my keyboard) because I later discovered a road in Montreal called Fenélon, which is too close to my comfort. An alien of Cause and Effect is exactly what I felt at the time. There is no clear relationship between cause and effect and back then, it was in style to have an online name, much like a pen name or stage name that people take on in order to hide their real identity. Because, well, giving out your real ID was a stupid idea. The Internet was a very scary place back then. Not so with the current social media revolution. Nowadays, security of identity is best done by overflowing Google with misinformation than hiding your true identity.

This style of writing is the merger of the two identity. The online penmanship adds to the boring details of daily progress report partly to practice my English writing skills but mostly, to write to my future self. It’s important that things are not dry but even more so that I can show my thought process. Because I find that when I go back to entries I wrote a few years ago, I can usually gauge my state of mind from the way I write. This is why, even when I was contemplating stopping the blog, I never even considered the reality of not writing a Journal. The difference between having a blog or not lies simply in whether or not it is online. The benefit of having access to the dictionary of my life anywhere far outweighs the disadvantages.

Now that the online identity has successfully merged, it’s time for me to retire the nickname Causalien and proceed to merge my dancesport personality… which is a far wilder and harder task. Yes, those of you who met me through ballroom, that’s not my real self. It’s part of me, but it’s not how I am at home or with friends… at least not yet.