Reborn III

Why am I bothering doing this if it caused so much angst in me? You must be wondering now. Because I might not have a chance in the future and when I asked myself whether or not I can forgive myself when I realize in the future that I denied myself the final chance, I answered NO.

After this, it’ll take at least a day to fly to my parents on short notice and costs anywhere between $2000 to $2500 depending on the time of the year. I might not be able to say goodbye. To people born in Western culture, it may not be obvious why I do some of the things I do and let things slide, but understand that I do it because I understand that my parents base beliefs are funded in a society where there are no safety nets. Where people used to “disappear” for politically opposing the government and an era that just recovered from the Japanese massacre. The deep seated emotional belief prevents a person from reaching Nirvana and curses a generation of people born after certain event. This is why death is needed, so we can forgive each other.

It doesn’t mean that I can stand them. If I were to be forced to grow up with what I know now, I would probably have hated my parents as much as Jesterz did. I’ve often wondered where we differed to have such divergent view on our parents. Since we have so many of the same tastes in things. I often thought that the taste must be because of a similar upbringings. The conclusion I reached now that I looked back is that I simply did not know the western way of thinking.

And that, is as close as I can get before delving deeper into psyches of many people and stating things too damaging for people I know. Things I have to say, but should not be heard.