Talking to my subconscious

I had a restless night after yesterday’s negotiations. My conscious spent the whole night processing all the information that my subconscious is feeding it. Something I made a point of doing quite commonly after any major events. This is the major reason that I am wide awake at 5AM in the morning, annoyed at waking up with less than full alertness. I am writing this because I observed that this is a very different way of using the mind from what the norm does and I feel that I have reached a good equilibrium point.

In the past, I’ve talked about this division in my mind before. That my full consciousness is a hive mind that harmonizes all the opinions in the individual personalities that exists. In psychology, I believe they call this, multiple personality disorder, a naming that I am most strongly opposed of. Let me just take some time to vent my beef about psychology. Which is the fact that they focuses on categorizing things as a disorder or disease instead of trying to fully see a special way to utilize the human mind. Psychology, is a study on how to force the human mind to think normally. In the most acceptable fashion. A feat that has been nagging me until recently once I rejected that whole part of academia, my outlook on life is much brighter.

Here’s a simple truth that I am going to state to hopefully one day make them realize. That other people’s belief in what you are has a great influence on what you are. Glass is half full, glass is half empty. Your base emotional response is different.

Now, back to this energy draining process that I went through last night. Ever since I started delegating simple addition and subtraction task to my subconscious and treating it as a human being, it has evolved into a kind of a group of sentient advisors that co-exists with me. At the moment, they haven’t developed into active voices and aggressive personalities that tries to take over me yet (as often depicted in movies) but they’ve been able to bring my attention to different details that stand out as odd. (And in the stock market, provide an instant estimation on mathematical calculations.) I nurture them by specifically giving them a function and something to do and I ask their opinion on certain subjects as if they are a respectable person. Of course, the interaction is not as grandiose as what you see in movies. The replies are mostly in feelings, or replays of imagery of certain details I missed. I am not sure if they can speak human languages yet.

The reason I am doing this is simple. I need different specializations that can process and give me feed back fast because I know that a logical mind cannot work through a problem fast enough in the real world because our thoughts are single threaded and are done in the speed of sound. (We think logically using a language). I’ve done some studies in the history of multiple personality disorder and discovered finding which indicate that in most of the cases, the multiple personalities are created by the psychologist. By giving name to a special set extreme behavior that is unexpected from the person and relating that to some other name than the person’s name. The psychologist created the disorder in the process of trying to cure the person from what originally was a mild case of mood swing. Record shows that disconnection from the psychologist lessened the personality switch but the damage is already done.

So you see what I am doing here? I am going through the same process, but in a more guided and loving manner. You see, I actually want to co-exist with my mentat side, who’s life’s joy is “more data”. My emotional reader who gets a kick out of reading body languages and the thrill of bartering. As the negotiations drag on yesterday, I was made aware of statements of behaviors that goes out of the norm. During the negotiations, I didn’t have the time to properly analyze what it is, so I only know enough to steer in the opposite direction of where the conversation is going, but after analyzing the specific event myself and talking about it with people more experienced in buying and selling condos. I was able to understand more clearly which tactics the buyers were trying to use on me to goad me into the direction that they want to go. What they didn’t understand though, is my ability to believe myself to be innocent and gullible. They lost, the moment they stepped into my front door. More on that later once the deal got the blessings of the notary.