Salsa lessons 8

It’s happening again.

A sense of disappointment and indifference have started overwhelming my mood after each dance class. Perhaps I have wanted it to give life some positivity so much that it couldn’t keep up with my expectations. I noticed that I went through the same cycle every time I move and decide to pick up dancing again.

I tried to rationalize what is going on, but am at a loss for the root cause of it. Originally, I had thought that the disappointment comes from dancing with woman whom I thought aren’t as good as me and that the search for perfection is deluding me from the reality of the real partnership. There is o perfect connection and I will be happier if I don’t look for it. Yet, this shouldn’t be a problem this time. This time, I started with the specific intention of socializing instead of dancing.

Still, I feel it. The mental agony cries out when the lady couldn’t match the tempo of a double turn. The cringe of a fake smile whenever the woman complains about a lead being too sudden, but a complaint caused by the lack of her connection. Could it be that once you’ve walked past certain level of expertise that you can never go back? I want to experience that high from a perfect connection someone once showed me. Or perhaps it is just in my imagination and I have already surpassed that level? As has been proven time and time again when I look at my past teachers and realizing that I am the better dancer.

Until I feel it again, I will futilely continuing working on the basics, improving my stamina and strengthening all the small supporting muscles. Wherever you are, don’t take too long in showing up, I don’t know when my hope will die.