On setbacks

When the universe called me by my name, I have always answered its call without fear nor doubt. Hesitation is all but disappeared in my book of life; if only life is that simple. You see, what is vehemently frustrating about life is the fact that you can answer the calls to your heart’s content, but you are not always the chosen.

Yes, because when the universe spells out your name, or describes you in your entirety, there will be someone else with the exact same background and experience, vying to be the hero of the day. You often end up fighting a mirror of yourself in order to be the hero chosen to die for a cause. If you win, you get to die in glory. If you lose… well, you get to live, but forgotten.

My greatest rivals if life have always been someone similar to me. Similarity means we have the same goal and fight for the same limited resources. I have always known this subconsciously which is probably why, I always disliked men who are like me. Each conflict teaches me something about myself, allowing me to see who I am from the outside.

It feels as though I shouldn’t be going against myself, that I should be befriend those who are similar to me. Creating an army out of thin air. Alas I have no reached that state spiritually. So until then, I will fight and fall back with each failure in the hope that I will learn something in between battles. One day, losing will feel like winning, but until then, I will lick my wounds.