Judging one’s own skill

I started to compare my skills against that of my peers agian. For a different reason this time. For people who knew me from long ago, you probably felt that I used to be very competitive person. To a point of absurdity now that I look back. I believe that it is the reason which lead to me asking myself: “What is wrong with my personality?”

The adjustment

I believe I went through a period of adjustment and have come out completely opposite of what I used to be. Not wanting to come out first in anything nor looking at anyone as a rival anymore. There are only people who I can work with to achieve goals together and those who don’t.

Mind you, I still get pissed off inside when someone takes something as a competition when I don’t want to do that. You know, those who taunts you in an attempt to get into a race so they can win and feel better. In that sense of view, I am still very much controlled by competition. Controlled in the sense that this type of person majorly pisses me off. I still need to work on not being affected by them.

Reason why I need to compare

So why am I comparing myself against others again? This time, I am glad that it is for a greater good. I need to do this so that I can accurately judge the facts that people spills out. Watching the news, I realize that there’s a lot of people out there who are just parrots, repeating others where in fact they have no idea what they are talking about. It is important for me to be able to accurately differentiate this so I can determine whether or not to actually consider what the person has to say or use it as a model to understand what the general population is thinking about.

What changed

To do so, I have to shed the passive aggressive mantle that is favored by my humble fellow asians and actually consider the realty that I might be better than most people at certain tasks. And that I can do things that they cannot just because of the way I am.

To be able to admit this as a fact and not do so blindly out of pride is a major step in my life.