Quitting coffee: day 312

“Caffeine is the only drug that is not considered a drug.” ~Some random dude on the web

The topic of addiction always sends me back to a trip down memory lane. The numerous conversations I had with Miss Z are at the same time nostalgic and sentimental. One day, I innocently asked how she managed to finally quit her addiction. To which, she replied with: “I replaced it with another addiction: coffee.”

Miss Z was had always been a paradox to me. Even though younger in age, she was, in every which way you decided to look, the more mature person between the two of us. Her solutions to life’s problems bored the mark of adulthood from an inchoate sense of sadness that exists because of life’s true lessons. In contrast I was still a young man who thought of the world as black and white. That is why I am quite amused by the fact that I actually took after her advices and replaced my coffee addiction with tea. Something needs to be consumed when I think and if that something cannot be coffee, another substance needs to be found.

When I really feel the crunch, I brew a pot of black tea with two teabags. Effectively doubling the caffeine concentration to imitate the effect of coffee. And since I haven’t felt the need to do that until recently after quitting coffee about a year ago, I felt the effect of caffeine in its full glory. Of course, something must’ve surprised me if I decided to dedicate a post to it. That surprise lies with the change in caffeine’s effect on me. A response that is different from simple insomnia.

As mentioned before, I learned how to force sleep whenever I need to from the polyphasic experiment and still uses a combination of “weekday biphasic sleep and weekend triphasic sleep” schedule when needs must. A recent trial at staying awake without sleep lasted a total of only 30 hours, down from the first record of 45 hours. Meaning that my ability for control has greatly increased, but my stamina has decreased overall with age. I also discovered that the price to this control is a heightened sensitivity to any mind state altering substances.

I feel it in a form of ruggedness when I am awake. Yes, I can focus more, but probably as a result of wanting and creating less. These are expected responses, but the next thing totally blew my mind. I’ve been having very vivid dreams. Dreams where my senses are were and I can feel, touch and taste. On top of that, I can remember details of the dream even after a day.

Could it be possible that the trained sleep in conjunction caffeine somehow managed to keep parts of the brain active which should otherwise been dormant? Before this, I’ve been trying to remember my dreams and failing miserably. Which makes this is a refreshing experience that I’d like to have more of. Once I can do this everyday, I can finally move on to the next planned stage of lucid dreaming. I absolutely want this to go on!

But what am I giving up in the process?