Invisible stress

I have dedicated all my efforts to a project ever since I came back in May. Before that I have dedicated my life to the trip that I took in May. So I haven’t had any chance to take care of everything else in life as evidence by my surroundings slowly breaking down.

Little things here and little things there did register in my subconscious even though I try my best to ignore them. To leave it until the project is completed. Well they are done now and I kept wondering if things would’ve been more pleasant if I had spared some time to maintain other parts of my life. Would I have been able to concentrate more if everything is clean and orderly?

In any case, now that there are no grandios goal to reach, I seem to draw some sense of accomplishment out of slowly improving my quality of life little by little. Yet at the same time, I know that these won’t really contribute to the grand scheme of things.

What would accomplishing this bring? Just a sense of “I can do this”. Not something transferable or favorably looked up upon by anyone else. I sometimes question the logic behind my wanting to do certain tasks. In any case, I have dedicated my whole income to accomplishing these projects now so at least we will see some progress.