Sometimes a blog is just a journal

I fell sick in the middle of moving. Half of my stuff is there, half is still here. Tis a very inconvenient arrangement. Thus it has been revealed to me, how much I depend on things to stay the way they are in order to wake up feeling prepared.

As a reflection of this disturbance in my spirit, my body has reflected my condition with a pleroma of different problems. Allergy reactions and the feeling of the beginning of a cold (Antibiotics does not kill viruses). It make some wicked sense in some way. I am living in a mess, it’s only reasonable that my health is a mess. The environment and the spirit provides an everlasting feedback loop.

So how the hell do I get out of this shithole?

I look at healthy people with envy now. Imagining myself in a runner’s shoes or remembering the wind brush against me on my bike. How good it felt to be fit and out there. I feel more mortal now. More dependent on people and perhaps less wild. Would this stick when I get better? I don’t know, what I am sure of now, is that there’s no way in hell I am going to a free pool with lots of kids around sneezing and peeing into the pool.

The requirement to pay on the weekend seem to block out certain types of people.