Cornered

I work best when cornered. It allows me to ignore all social obligations as well as self imposed inhibitions. I’ve known this fact about myself and have actively sabotaged my life in order to gain the edge I needed. It partly explains why I’d just pick up and move to another country or quit a job with no clear headings for the next one.

Constantly changing circles gives me a false sense of belief that I am at my best during changes. It is instilled in me because people are kinder and nicer to someone they just met and you don’t have to deal with the compounded problems that exists in a long term relationship. Granted you are more open and the new experience adds to the overall character. But in the end, it doesn’t help you create. It only help you adapt.

Doing something new is relatively a pleasant experience, if you find the experience makes you more alive. As a new person in a new field, you are given slack to whatever you did wrong. Not so with a pro in certain field, where each mistake is put under a magnifying glass.

I’d like to be that guy who can tell a buisness partner to fuck off in a board meeting while not risk being fired forever.