171526

No dad, I didn't suddenly become clever. Nor am I stronger all of a sudden. You are just old and senile.

Of course that's a silent reply in my mind. I wondered if he can see it from my impatience, the way I want to cut him off but hold back what I am about to say out of politeness. I started doubting his behaviors now, started seeing the wrong in the way he does things, yet I don't want to pity him. No, that'd be pitiful in itself. At the same time, I am ashamed I am feeling this way. Why can't I be holy and all accepting? Why am I impatient? Shouldn't I be giving with love? Why can't I bear to see them so weak? Why do I want to run away from this but my mind is registering every second with crystal clarity?

Of course I am impatient and unhappy when I learnt that they still have to move: a stove, a fridge, a dryer and a washer. The helpless look on their faces; my aggravated acceptance of what needs to be done. After 9 hours of pure studying I just want to go out and run, not moving heavy electrical appliances that should've been sold.

Rolled up my sleeve and pretended to be supermen for a few hours. Now I am really behind on doing my taxes and it's already 10 pm. Good night Montreal.