I am tired

Anger rushed through my veins envigorating my blood like cocaine to my mind. Yet I felt drained of all energy, bones brittle to the touch with my skins barely hanging on to my softened muscles.

A perfect orchestra of dissonance.

I never knew that being cancelled felt like this. Dismissed, like a useless doll, thrown away by the owner for the new barbie.

It's official. Our project is cancelled. A whole year of hard work. For this project, I've sacrificed my passion, betrayed my soul and tortured my body. What do I get in return for it is a simple disimssal.

All those sleeplesss nights. Days at work where I have to supress my own emotional rages. Hopes of salvation and needs to be understood. I put all these aside and became the iron man of work. I cheered and laughed with my co-workers betraying what I really felt like.

Till today, then I found out that I can't even force a smile. I have failed in every aspect of my life, sacrificed them because I held on to the single thought of succeeding in this project.

Now I am left alone to pick up the shattered pieces that I call my life. A whole year of work for nothing.

I can't remember yesterday, nor can I remember last weekend anymore.All that is left fresh in my immediate mind are the ever ending whispers of technology.

There's so much hatred in me with no outlet. I don't like feeling this way, but I can't help it.